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Disclaimer: I do not support any of the action I pretended to support here. The purpose of this article is to give an explanation how most religious doctrines got developed. Hear me all listeners. I have just received a revelation from God himself. All of you got to pay me a gazillion dollar. You can donate the money at http://GenePoolSurvivalGuide.com What? Why I haven't heard money coming to my bank account yet? Do you know, if you don't give me my money, you'll go to hell. You'll go to hell or heaven based on whether you give your money to me or not and how well you convert others into believers like you. I mean, if the way to go to heaven is not stealing, not killing, not screwing someone else' wife, and not giving false testimonies, who want to be religious? So from now on, you go to heaven or hell based on how well you believe religious doctrines and how twisted the doctrines are. We'll sell of more this way. The other teaching can't be popular and hence must be wrong. You don't believe me that God wants you to put money in my pocket. What? You don't believe that I am a messenger of God. I sense lack of faith here. Well, lieutenants, go kill all the infidels that spread apostasy. This people tell everyone that they don't need to pay. If they don't pay, then they will go to hell. So by killing them we are saving them from the fire of hell. It's for their own good. Of course, if pretty women are extracting a lot of money and higher quality genetic material from rich smart alpha males, we need to prohibit that to protect women. It must be bad for them despite the fact that it's the strategy that works best in the gene pool for trillions of years. Hey, what do you expect when someone like me, rather than your self, decides your best interests? All right all right, what is it anyway that not many people believe what I said. Sure I can't proof what I said, but that's why we have all this faith things. There has to be other ingredients. What sort of thing people will buy anyways nowadays? Scientific evidences? That's convincing. But is that what maximize their profits? Public relations department, please check what sort of religious doctrines will be popular among the irrational. What turn them on so they may have intensives to believe? It seems that some beliefs can be used as justification for some political agenda. For example, I see that many people are not very competitive. Women prefer the rich and rich males are attracting all the girls. If somehow I can entertain the prejudices that being rich is evil, surely they will have justification to prosecute rich productive people. This will give them sense of pride and help them get rid superior competitors. Alright, there we go... Here is another revelation. Greed is sin okay. The problem is not in how you get your wealth, but how much wealth you're getting. If you make billions of dollars, even if you make it through honest productive capitalistic means, you're still evil. On the other hand, we all have to forgive, thieves, bank robbers, and majestic welfare kings and queens. I know. It's in the bible: "Though shall forgive thieves but hate capitalists." Well, not exactly like that, but that's the whole original meaning based on some expert in excatologtheodeisupersmartologists that I hire here. Oh goody, my approval rating has gone up. Now I should see money start coming in. What else is selling here? Oh look at that... There are many males that don't get laid because they're not alpha males. Ah... If only sex is not free then women will be shared in equal share to everyone within life long legally binding monogamous relationship. That would hurt gene pool survival of sexy people. Marriage is a trap and romance is the lure. Many people want others to be trap. So we need to promote marriage. All right, let there be family value. Now, any free sex is sin. Males shouldn't pick pretty women and pretty women shouldn't pick rich smart males. Also polygamy is also sin. All right... there goes the market value of beauty and wealth. Now un-sexy people can sell for more. See, I am bumping out their stock price here. They're bumping out mine. Well, it's in the bible. Actually, historically, rationing females in equal share to everyone manner will only work when the non alpha males have enough political power. In other words, monogamy cannot be a norm until Greek democracy long after the majority of bible is written. But who would check history anyway? People trust their prejudices. Simon says get married. I mean God says so. You want to say I wrong? Proof it? You need God himself to testify against me to proof I am wrong. Good luck calling Him. All right, what else. Ah ha, a scientific question. Your friend has 2 kids. One looks like his dad and the other looks like his uncle. Oh I shouldn't have flunked my genetic class. How can that be? Well, I guess I'll check that out with my agents from heaven. What, you don't know the answer? They don't teach evolution theory in angel's barrack I guess. Well, angels aren't speaking. I'll just come up with my own answer. I can always check the real answer at http://GenePoolSurvivalGuide.com You see, genetic similarity is inversely proportional with 2 to the power of degrees of separation summed over all common parents. For daddy, that's half genetic similarity. For uncle, the number is a quarter. Of course once in a while a kid looks like his dad, on average half of facial feature at a time. Some times a kid looks like his uncle a quarter of facial features on average. However, that website wouldn't come up for another 1300 years though, so what should I say? You know what? I don't know. Oh what do you mean I don't know. If I don't know stuffs I'll lose credibility here. Sure I know. I know everything. That happens depending on who reach climaxes during the conjugation. Why don't you double check that $(B!G (Bs getting it when they're having sex and check out what the kids look like 9 months 10 days later. Oh you have problems doing that. Well, you can't proof me wrong then. Therefore I am right then. Gotcha... What? You mean things that I said are becoming scientific as science progress? Tell scientists that they can research anything. However, they cannot research the sun, evolution theory, gravity theory, and big bang here. It's kind of sacred you know. If they do research on that, then some of my teaching will be proven wrong. That would be an insult toward religious beliefs and hence we need a restriction on freedom of speech. My followers are desperate. I should come up with some doctrines that make everyone desperate. So drawing funny cartoon is not a legitimate way to express your political agenda. It's wrong to draw funny cartoons. Religions shouldn't be a laughing stock. Here, in a civilized world, nice people that want to change the world should resort to suicide bombing and kill lots of innocent civilian instead. It's the moral way. Now I command you to wage holy war against all sinful enjoyable productive consensual entertainments. When I said though shall not kill, I mean except the innocent and the peaceful. They're weak and nice, why fear them? Of course, the best way to find and defend the truth is by lying, restricting freedom of speech, and stifling research and science. Don't forget to slaughter those with opposing opinions, especially those backed up by dangerously accurate scientific evidences. Many people would agree with me. That's how we've been defending our truth for centuries. More people believe and truth defended with those methods than scientific truth. Now, who's crazy? The scientists. Just ask any religious leaders. That's what all of my competitors agree, when they had the choice. It's what everyone does in this industry you know.
Article Source: http://www.worldofarticles.net
Jim Thio is a silver medalist in International Physics Olympiad. He's learning evolution theory to understand humans nature and make humans happier. He visions a better world where the productive make more kids and the parasites get more cash.
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